DELILAH THE MERMAID

"I followed my wife here to Arizona from Hawaii so she could work in the medical center on the reservation. It's really sandy here. I wash my car and the engine and make it all bright and sparkly and the next day, there's sand all over it! I give up, man!"

"Her name is Delilah. I made my parents promise to give me this table if they ever got rid of it. It used to be all black. I was bored and had nothing to do here, so I propped it up and spent two months painting it. The dolphin has jewels for eyes!  Wait, check it out (turns on the mood lighting and plays a track of waves washing onto the shore). Cool, huh?"